Football's Not Coming Home

So England are out of the World Cup. On the bright side, there were no penalty shoot-outs and nobody cried.

So what now for us England fans? If you're in London and want to carry on with the multi-national, global theme, then this summer offers quite a few opportunities to do just that.

So let's kick off with...

Brazil

Festival Brazil is a month-long festival at the Southbank Centre, bringing contemporary Brazilian culture to London.. It runs from June 11th to July 18th and these are a few of the highlights:

• Youth Orchestra of Bahia (July 7th, 7.30pm). From the same stable as the Simon Bolivar Youth Orchestra, this is their first visit to London. Conducted by Ricardo Castro, the programme for the evening is "Music from the Americas" and includes Gershwin and Bernstein.

• A Woman's Eye on Brazil (July 9th, 7pm). Ana Maria Goncalves, Patricia Melo and Maria Valéria discuss Brazil and their work.

• Sócrates: Futebol and Brazil (July 18th, 5pm). Sócrates is a former captain of the Brazil football team who is now a major cultural commentator. Maybe he'll be giving his views on another World Cup Winning performance?

• Skylon Caipirinha Cocktail Masterclass (July 12th, 6.30pm). If all that literature and music sounds like too much hard work, just join "Master Mixologist" Zoran Peric to learn the secrets of the perfect Brazilian cocktail. Includes 2 drinks per person. Hic.

Getting in on the Act - Singing Along for England

The current bone of contention in England (OK, apart from the major occurrence of butterfingers) is that there is NO official World Cup England Song.

Most Official England Songs are beyond horrendous. Here's an example from 20 years ago:



Nevertheless, a few people have tried to put this 2010 omission right. The News of the World newspaper (misnomer if ever there was one) was in Trafalgar Square on Saturday, drumming up support for their single Cabanga (by Joe Public United):

 Are all lions called Leo? That could get complicated...

And what better to get us all in the mood than a quick conga round the back of Nelson's column and past the National Gallery?

Leo leads the Conga round the square

But the NOTW has competition. James Corden and Dizzee Rascal have recorded a re-work of a Tears for Fears song: 'Shout for England':



The NOTW didn't read the small print: if it's a #1 single you want, it's Simon Cowell you need. And guess what? "Shout for England" was #1 yesterday.

Never mind, eh Leo?

The Beautiful Game

The World Cup is all about preparation. A successful tournament boils down to more than the performances on the pitch. And I’m not talking about the players. Here in London, the general population has been gearing up for months:

• Need a new TV? No problem. Toshiba will sell you a new flat-screen, with the added incentive that you get it free if England win the World Cup!

• Planning a footie party? Then drop into Tesco, the “Official Supermarket” of the World Cup, who have a multitude of offers on BBQ food, beer and South African wine.

• Pizza Express, the darling of the English middle class, is in on the act too. 2-for-1 pizzas, whether it’s for football-and-pizza-take-out or no-football-eat-in.

If you’re more of a saver than a spender, fear not:

• Nationwide, the major England sponsor, are offering a 4-Year Football Bond, with a 0.5% bonus if England win in South Africa

So welcome to London. For the month or so, all Englishmen (and many women) will forego rational thought. Our British reserve and our stiff upper lip will desert us. We will rediscover patriotism, talk to strangers on the Tube and blub like babies whether Wayne Rooney scores or sees red.

The FIFA 2010 Football World Cup has teams from 32 countries. And London is most definitely the definition of a global city. So I’m going to put away my England underpants in 2010 and focus my attentions on the smaller, less well-represented nations:

• Where in London can Paraguayans watch Roque Santa Cruz and eat tapas?

• Where is London’s biggest Korean community?

• Can you eat Ghanaian food and watch them at football at the same time?

• Will Slovenia, Slovakia or Serbia make it through the group stages?

It'll be a blast!

As long as we don't go out on penalties. Again.